So I spent about 3 hours this morning just quietly crying on the couch in the family room.
At some point yesterday, my concern changed from worrying about a miscarriage to worrying about a “missed miscarriage.” Basically, your body doesn’t expel the fetus, so it is still inside of you, but with no heartbeat.
I know this sounds morbid. But you have to understand, I am going a little crazy here. If this pregnancy is in fact over, I can and will deal with the loss. But I need to know. This sitting here and wondering, half mourning, half hoping for the impossible…IT’S. KILLING. ME.
I still have to take my shots because what if and just in case. I still had to avoid a philadelphia roll when we went out for sushi the other night because smoked fish is a no-no for preggos.
Yeah, there is no way I am waiting until Wednesday for my next ultrasound. First thing tomorrow morning I am calling the doctor’s office and demanding that they see me tomorrow.
If my instincts are right and I have to have a D&C then I want to know, get it done and over with and begin to move on.