Or at least it would have been.
Today is one month since I had my D&C.
My husband asked me why I give so much meaning to dates.
For instance I was a little sad (ok, a lot sad) on New Year’s Eve because that would have marked the end of my first trimester. I would have started the new year being into my second trimester and being excited about the future.
Considering my D&C was only 3 weeks prior to that, it was hard not to think of it on that date.
Anyway, I had to remember when my D&C was because the doctor had told me that after 4 weeks I should call his office and see if they had any results from the tissue testing they had performed on the fetus.
So, I had it in my calendar to call today.
I called in the morning and left a message.
There is some turmoil going on at work, so I was focused on that and forgot about the doctor until he called me back at 3:30.
He told me that the test showed that there was a common abnormality, called a Trisomy 16. This is the leading cause of miscarriage.
The good news is that there was no evidence present to suggest that a future pregnancy could not be carried to term. I guess we call that the silver lining here.
And then he told me I was pregnant with a boy.
I probably could have done without that information. Every little detail, makes it all more real. Knowing it was a boy makes me feel like I am experiencing the loss all over again. Now I know I am mourning the loss of my little boy, not just some unknown entity.
Anyway, that’s today’s news.
Now we wait to hear if we get approved for a grant through UH for another cycle.
And we continue healing and putting the pieces back together.
As always, thank you for reading.