Golf and Guessing

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Today was not a good day.

Any day that starts with me waking up at 5:30 is probably not going to be a good day.

I had to be at the doctor’s office at 6:50 a.m.  It was time to do more monitoring. After my blood draw I had a different ultrasound tech than usual take me back. She seemed a little uncertain and I didn’t see her measuring as many follicles.

Then, the nurse I met with was not my usual nurse. She told me that there were 4 or 5 follicles that were measuring around 13 mm and several smaller ones. Ideally follicles need to be at around 18 or 19 mm for retrieval.  I expressed to her that I was concerned that  the other follicles weren’t getting as big and asked if there was anything we could do to promote growth. After she assured me that she would talk to the doctor and call me that afternoon, I was off.

Most of the rest of my day was spent on a beautiful golf course.  Sounds pretty good, right?

For the first couple of hours I was too anxious, waiting for the phone call. That’s not to say that I didn’t appreciate the beautiful scenery or the juvenile sense of humor of my companions. But I did maintain a death grip on my phone.

When the call came, it wasn’t great news. My estrogen levels weren’t rising at a good rate. And my follicles weren’t growing very much. The doctor was adding another drug to my protocol. Now we are up to 5 shots a day.

The new medication also came with a hefty price tag.  So far, in the past 6 days I have already spent $397 on Friday and $222 on Tuesday. Then today I had to spend another $860.

I spent the rest of the afternoon worrying about my estrogen levels and my follicles.

Now I am home and Todd has just given me some shots. The Gonal-F was fine. The Menopur, which is the new medication, not so much. First, because it is super confusing, Todd mixed the medication wrong. (Yes, it’s not enough that we have to go through all this, we also have to be chemists). So basically one of the vials is wasted. That’s roughly $100. (Todd, when you are reading this in the future, when it is published, I am not blaming you. I am frustrated along with you at how confusing and unclear this process was). Regardless, that sucked.

Then came time to actually give me the shot. The needle didn’t look any bigger than others that we use. That’s why it was a major shock when it went in and hurt like a SON OF A BITCH!! The needle hurt and the medication stung.

The shock of the pain made me start crying. Once I opened the floodgates, everything came out. My pain, my fear, my anxiety, my hope, my frustration. Everything.

Now, we do 5 shots tomorrow and then I go in Saturday morning to see where things stand.

I will be an anxious, webmd-surfing, jittery mess until then.

Bring on Friday!


About llipps

New mom, infertility survivor, marketer, wife, daughter and friend. I struggle to find the balance between being all things to all people and being happy with who I am. I love meeting new people, telling my stories, and hearing yours.
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